Mother-Son Incest: Hidden in Shame and Rising/ Break the cycle

Mother-Son Incest: Hidden in Shame and Rising



The molestation began as gentle fondling when Gregg Milligan was 4 years old, but it soon escalated to aggressive touching and eventually beatings that would render him unconscious.

For seven years, until Michigan child welfare workers intervened when he was 11, Milligan was too ashamed to reveal that his tormentor was his own mother.

"She was very brutal," said Milligan. "Through her difficulty reaching climax, she would become frustrated and violent, hitting and punching and slapping not only my genitals, but my face and body."

"It was terribly confusing, and it wasn't just the violation," said Milligan, now 46, and director of infrastructure for a major health care provider in Michigan.

As bad as the incest was, things got worse. Milligan's father had left when he was 2, but by the time he was 8, his mother, an alcoholic and a prostitute, invited strange men home who would sexually abuse him.

"Back then I would never tell anyone, not even a sibling," said Milligan, the most "compliant and sensitive" of three children living at home. "I was just too afraid. It was so horrendous for me to believe she actually would do this to me."

One of the unspeakable secrets in the world of child sexual abuse is that mothers can be molesters. Often, they prey on daughters, but more frequently their sons -- who report increased feelings of isolation and sexual confusion along with thoughts of suicide.

Both of Milligan's parents are now dead, but his past still haunts him.

"Around 10 years old, I started to get this unbelievable feeling of dread that if I don't get out I am going to die from the decadence, the debauchery, the forced molestations and the beatings that became more severe," he said. "For three months I suffered from hysterical paralysis."

An estimated one in four girls and one in seven boys will be sexually assaulted or abused before the age of 18, according to the Alabama-based National Children's Advocacy Center . In 27 percent of these cases, the abuse is perpetrated by the child's parents.

Previous studies of day care workers published in 2000 in the Journal of Sex Research, found that women -- without male accomplices -- accounted for only about 6 percent of the abuse of females and 14 percent of males.

But more recent national surveys indicate about 12 percent of all child abuse cases are committed by women -- "a 100 percent increase compared with previous data," according to Chris Newlin, NCAC's executive director.

"We view females as care givers and protectors of children," he told ABCNews.com. "Now we are beginning to understand females are sexually abusing children, and it is occurring much more."

Professionals are stymied by public perception that incest is "an ugly subject," and that women can't commit such crimes.

"If it's a 35-year-old female and a 14-year-old boy, we'd say the boy is getting lucky," said Newlin. "And if it was a 35 year-old male and a 14-year-old girl, we'd call that a pervert."

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And, this man turned out just fine.

So, I am tired of hearing these kids say they turned out bad because they had a horrible childhood.

Don't get me wrong, I have complete empathy for this man and what he went through, and BJ.. for bringing this article to VH. It is quite important that we are all aware that this happens more than we know.

But kids CAN bounce back if they choose to.

Gregg Milligan and his son, Gregg Tyler Milligan II, at his graduation from college this year. Milligan, an incest survivor, said he is proudest of raising a son who never knew violence or abuse.

Tears, BJ!!!!

“Most of us on this great big planet stand alone against all odds, shoeless with cracked knuckles, biting our busted lips as the tears tumble and roll down our dirty cheeks. Few rise above all the decadence done unto them. Those blessed few leave a great influence of a better day filled with clean hope and blossoming opportunities. We are all capable of leaving this mark - no matter what we’ve been through.

Break the cycle, so that we may save one another.”

- Gregg Tyler Milligan

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Gregg Milligan’s personal history reflects a pattern of significant hardships followed by accomplishments . . . because he just never quit trying. Untimely death of family and friends –much of which was by their own hands has surrounded Gregg from his early childhood into his adult years. Addiction, rape, torture, molestation –abuse of every kind –these are the pillars of his foundation, and yet he chose to love. To never stop believing in a Better World.

Although Gregg has achieved in several facets of noble pursuits – within academia as well as military and athletic arenas – his most prized achievement is a private one. Simply said, as a survivor of child abuse, he has raised his only child (his son), to know only love and compassion. This remarkable success directly contrasts the dire upbringing he had, and is indicative of the powerful Spirit and blessings which have rescued him throughout his life.

Gregg holds a bachelors and masters degree in business and computer science, graduating Magna Cum Laude from the graduate program. This was another act of pure tenacity to survive that transcends comprehension when you discover he only learned to read at the age of twelve. In addition, at twelve he did not know how to tell time or tie his shoes. Immediately following his undergraduate studies, Gregg voluntarily served within the United States Air Force and subsequently received an Honorable Discharge.

As a founding member of Toastmasters International, Oscoda Michigan Chapter, Gregg went on to earn his Competent Toastmasters Certification.

For the past nineteen years, Gregg has held both computer engineering and executive level positions in corporate America. In the past eight years, he has held senior executive positions. His professional experience is packed with awards, accomplishments, and promotions.

Gregg is a huge advocate of giving back to the community and the world. His charitable efforts include making monetary donations along with participation in many community service efforts, including the Junior Achievement classroom program and the “Race for Life” breast cancer campaign. His love for healthy competition is still alive and he not only continues to compete as a member of track clubs and charitable road races, but is still placing in the top division of runners.

However, Gregg’s greatest role and life accomplishment has been that of a father – in this, he has truly known the gifts afforded by perseverance and grace. He has made sure that his son has never seen a hand raised to him, except for one to hold. In so doing, Gregg has broken the cycle of abuse from his childhood.

So, in his words, “Please remember, the reason we are here is to save one another … Break the cycle.”

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All I can say is "Wow".

Cherylz that was all I could say on the other thread about Parents selling their kids off for sex. This Man is remarkable and in the minority of sex abuse survivors. Most of them never even come forward out of shame and fear of not being believed. Most of them are forever lost in the abuse they suffered as kids.

Isn't it something that he rose so above it all. He had no role-model in his life. Just unbelievable.

He deserves this for what he has done with his life. Coming forward with this story had to be very hard for him.

He is a true role model to so many children who have suffered at the hands of their parents or other adults.

It is SO nice to hear of a happy ending!!! God Bless Gregg Milligan!!